Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...from deep in the wilds of the darkest jungle...abandoned as an infant and raised by the savage grizzlies...half man, half beast, all action, it's BEAR WOODS!!!


"GRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! WHERE IS THIS LEBEAVER? I'LL PULL HIM OUT OF HIS HELMET THROUGH THE EARHOLE, TIE HIM AROUND MY WAIST AND USE HIM AS A BELT! YOU HEAR ME SON? YOU CAN'T TAME THE BEARRRRRR!!!"


A white linebacker with dreads, Ultimate Warrior-style facepaint and a first name of Bear. This guy could bring pro wrestling swagger everywhere he goes. Might be my new favorite player.

Well, I didn't think the GMAC bowl would be such a thriller, and apparently neither did ESPN until halfway through the fourth quarter when they FINALLY stopped talking about Alabama and Texas. Yes, I get it, all SEC defenses are impenetrable, most Heisman winners lose the championship game, Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley's intense bromance might be too much for the intolerant, closed-minded Alabama defense, but I WANT TO SEE THE GAME HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! Did ESPN forget that they were broadcasting a bowl game during their championship preview show? If I had just been listening I would have thought there were two games going on. When you're broadcasting sports, you're supposed to at least spend a majority of the time talking about the game you're covering. The good news is that I'll enjoy tomorrow night's game much more now that I've had a 3-hour refresher on all of the angles that have been covered since the matchup was announced a month ago.

Also, the ref's mic quit at some point during the game. I didn't understand what he said for a late hit, so I'll pretend he dropped "givin' him the business!" on the overzealous Troy DB. Every time I see a late hit, I root for that line to come up. It's like rooting for Illinois football; all the losses just make each win that much more special.

Also, Kansas stays undefeated in men's basketball. Hey Bill Self: Go Kill Self. You Brian Kelly'd the Illini. You'll have yours just as he'll have his.


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