If You Think The Cowboys Are America's Team, You Probably Hate America

If Andy Reid can screw up clock management in ways unfathomable by even Ron Zook and Les Miles, Brian Westbrook can sustain an injury early in the game, and Donovan McNabb can forget that there are no ties in playoffs, the Cowboys stand a chance at getting past the Eagles. Given the high probablity of at least one of those occurring, I won't officially condemn the Cowboytoys to one-and-done, but they will not go all the way.

They are coached by the portly man pictured above. Doug Flutie, who was largely responsible for the Bills' 1999 wild-card berth, is on the sidelines because some guy named Rob Johnson had one good game as the Jaguars' backup the previous year. People are saying the NFL should institute rules to prevent teams like the Indianapolis Clots (not a typo) from sitting their starters. Before they even consider that rule, however, they need rules that keep people who are capable of sitting Doug Flutie for Rob Johnson in the playoffs from winning the Super Bowl. You could ask anyone, even a European who knows nothing about real football, whether they should start a quarterback who has his own cereal instead of one who had to be replaced early and often throughout the season, and they'd come up with the correct answer. Instead, you have the scene above, with Wade Phillips blocking Flutie's view of his team losing. Yes, the Music City Miracle was a fluke, but that situation is prevented by playing your best quarterback.

Plus, does anyone else remember Charles Woodson single-handedly pantsing the Cowboys' offense earlier in the season?