2010 BCS National Championship Game: The Drinking Game

So it's come down to this, the most predictable national championship matchup in recent memory: Texas and Alabama. Questions abound: Is there really a Heisman curse? Can the Donghorns defense stop the Crimson Tide like a sanitary napkin, or will the flow of Crimson Tide be too heavy? Just how many times will Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley be compared to these guys?

My pick is Alabama, simply because Texas has proven that it can be defended against. Gerald McCoy (OU) and Ndamukong Suh proved that Texas has problems with stopping enormous, athletic linemen, and Alabama's Terrence Cody is another one of those. This is a 6'5", 365lb man who has mad hops. McCoy will be seeing enormous guys improbably chase him down in his sleep.

I'm able to generate a rooting interest in most games; this one is Alabama because of Texas' incessant whining about last year's national championship matchup. If you're not, however, here's a way to have fun...

So Many Babies

Being back on campus two weeks before classes start gets boring. I'm not too familiar with the blogosphere, so I started rapidly clicking that "Next Blog" button at the top. That's when I discovered that my blog has no place on Blogspot. It just doesn't fit in. For you see,

EVERY BLOG IS ABOUT SOMEONE'S BABIES!!!

They all have banners at the top that include a picture of the subject baby or babies and every post has so many pictures that I start feeling sorry for said baby. If you're out somewhere and someone is taking rapid-fire pictures of a non-famous baby with no discernible special occasion, THIS PERSON PROBABLY HAS A BLOG ABOUT THEIR BABY. 

Which leads me to my next rhetorical question: WHO READS THESE?! Are they like Christmas cards in that they're emailed to you all the time and you ignore them? Do relatives of the baby not living with it really crave the in-depth play-by-play (plus color commentary)? If it's just for the immediate family, why clog the tubes by putting it online at all? Does the baby grow up, gain comprehension of the situation, and become confused and suspicious? WHY ALL THE BABY BLOGS?!

I know that nobody reads this thing either, but AT LEAST IT'S NOT ABOUT BABIES!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...from deep in the wilds of the darkest jungle...abandoned as an infant and raised by the savage grizzlies...half man, half beast, all action, it's BEAR WOODS!!!

"GRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! WHERE IS THIS LEBEAVER? I'LL PULL HIM OUT OF HIS HELMET THROUGH THE EARHOLE, TIE HIM AROUND MY WAIST AND USE HIM AS A BELT! YOU HEAR ME SON? YOU CAN'T TAME THE BEARRRRRR!!!"

If You Think The Cowboys Are America's Team, You Probably Hate America

If Andy Reid can screw up clock management in ways unfathomable by even Ron Zook and Les Miles, Brian Westbrook can sustain an injury early in the game, and Donovan McNabb can forget that there are no ties in playoffs, the Cowboys stand a chance at getting past the Eagles. Given the high probablity of at least one of those occurring, I won't officially condemn the Cowboytoys to one-and-done, but they will not go all the way.

They are coached by the portly man pictured above. Doug Flutie, who was largely responsible for the Bills' 1999 wild-card berth, is on the sidelines because some guy named Rob Johnson had one good game as the Jaguars' backup the previous year. People are saying the NFL should institute rules to prevent teams like the Indianapolis Clots (not a typo) from sitting their starters. Before they even consider that rule, however, they need rules that keep people who are capable of sitting Doug Flutie for Rob Johnson in the playoffs from winning the Super Bowl. You could ask anyone, even a European who knows nothing about real football, whether they should start a quarterback who has his own cereal instead of one who had to be replaced early and often throughout the season, and they'd come up with the correct answer. Instead, you have the scene above, with Wade Phillips blocking Flutie's view of his team losing. Yes, the Music City Miracle was a fluke, but that situation is prevented by playing your best quarterback.

Plus, does anyone else remember Charles Woodson single-handedly pantsing the Cowboys' offense earlier in the season?

No Amount Of LeIbuprofin Can Reduce LeFevour

Can someone explain to me why the GMAC bowl (between Central Michigan and Troy) is in such a prime time slot? I mean, the day between the Orange Bowl and the self-proclaimed National Championship Game? Each non-Sunday day of 2010 has been headlined by a big-time matchup; Ohio State vs. Oregon/Cincinatti vs. Florida! OK State vs. Ole Miss! Boise State vs. TCU! Iowa vs. GTech! .................CMU vs. Troy? No disrespect to either team, particularly #25 CMU, it's just underwhelming for this timeslot.

The good news is that Troy has the best passer in their history in Levi Brown and as for CMU,

Dan LeFevour is the FBS (NCAA Div. 1-A) all-time leader in career touchdowns. That's right, not even The Tebow has scored enough overhyped touchdowns that won't make it at the next level. And his name is awesome, i.e. Troy's defense will have to suppress LeFevour or they'll burn up! Though I'm relatively uneducated with respect to these two teams, my predictions are as follows:

Winner: CMU
Confidence: 96%

Margin: >10 pts
Confidence: 75%
Total Score: At least 50
Confidence: 65%

Basketball musings after the jump:

He's Givin' Him The Business!

This is possibly the greatest act of refereeing of all time. So great, in fact, that it became the title of this blog. Welcome to Givin' Him The Business, a site devoted to football. I have the misfortune of attending the University of Illinois and being a huge football fan, which may result in this site not being the cheeriest. Illinois' first five conference games of 2009 exemplify why I have not noticed a lot of football blogs by Illinois fans. I'm also a big fan of the pros, and despite being from the Chicagoland area, I'm a lifelong Packer Backer. Now that that's out of the way though, remember how I said the first link was the greatest act of refereeing of all time? Here are a few more great ones...

A respectable tribute to the classic, but I like the enthusiastic punching of the original.

I can't find a video of this, but in the 2010 Cotton Bowl, an Ole Miss player received a 15-yard penalty after scoring a touchdown for "Calling Attention to One's Self." That needs its own separate signal; ref does the Ickey Shuffle?

Honorable mention to the ref who tackled Stephen Garcia of the Cocks, but lest anyone forget, Rams RB Kenneth Darby got jacked up by an official. That's what you get for going over the middle against these refs!